The facts
House GOP leadership is increasing pressure on the Senate to pass legislation making daylight saving time permanent, following support from former President Donald Trump. House Majority Leader Steve Scalise, R-La., told Fox News Digital that 'there's no reason Americans should lose an hour of sunlight at the end of the day when more daylight means more time with our families, more activity for our businesses and safer communities.' Scalise added, 'President Trump has been pushing to make daylight saving time permanent, and House Republicans delivered by overwhelmingly passing the Sunshine Protection Act. It's a commonsense change and the Senate should take it up.' The House passed the Sunshine Protection Act in a bipartisan 308 to 117 vote in July. Trump posted on Truth Social that the clock changing process 'costs our Country a fortune, is bad for Crime, stress on people, Sports, and just about everything else.' However, the legislation is stalled in the Senate, here Majority Leader John Thune, R-S.D., told Politico there was 'no clear path forward.' Trump publicly criticized Sen. Tom Cotton, R-Ark., a prominent critic of the bill, sharing his cell phone number and urging Arkansans to contact him. Cotton responded on X, noting that Congress has enacted permanent Daylight Saving Time multiple times before and repealed it each time due to issues like 'absurdly late sunrises in the winter.' Cotton stated, 'Arkansans don’t want their kids going to school in the pitch dark, and I’ll always put Arkansas first.'
Our take
The House GOP, having passed a bill to lock the clock with the strategic foresight of a toddler smashing a watch, is now demanding the Senate join them in this historic voyage to fuck with time. House Majority Leader Steve Scalise, a man whose brain apparently runs on solar power, declared that more sunlight means more family time, business, and safer communities - a theory that would be news to every goddamn night shift worker, bartender, or vampire. This clown has distilled the nation’s complex woes down to a single, blazing solution: don’t change the clocks. What a fucking visionary.
Leading the charge from his social media bunker is Donald Trump, who called the biannual change 'ridiculous' and claimed it costs a fortune and is bad for crime, stress, sports, and 'just about everything.' Right, because the root of America’s crime wave is clearly that one fucking hour in November, not any of the other colossal policy failures his cult keeps ejaculating into the wind. When the bill stalled, this petulant prick doxxed a sitting senator, sharing Tom Cotton’s cell number like a middle-school bully. Statesmanlike.
And why is it stalled? Because, as Senator Tom Cotton - an absolute dickhead in his own right - pointed out, Congress has tried this permanent daylight saving bullshit before and repealed it every single time after realizing kids had to go to school in the pitch dark. So the GOP’s big idea is to proudly re-pass a historically failed policy, ignore the documented consequences, and then scream at the Senate for not playing along. It’s a perfect metaphor for this party: aggressively, proudly repeating the same mistakes while blaming everyone else for the resulting shit-show. They’re not legislators; they’re a gang of arsonists trying to sell you a lighter, calling it the Sunshine Protection Act while the whole fucking building smokes.
These clowns are so desperate for a win they’ve decided to wage war on the source-supported clock, a fight they’ve already lost repeatedly. Maybe instead of trying to legislate more daylight, they should try generating a single fucking idea that isn’t a reheated failure or a petty grudge. But that would require actual work, not just whining about the sun like a bunch of cosmically stupid cavemen.
