The facts
Mallory Wortman, senior fraud investigator at Abrigo, told Fox News Digital that “ghost students” – stolen or fabricated identities, sometimes created with AI – are being used to enroll in colleges and collect federal student aid meant for legitimate students. The Education Department reported that requiring high‑risk applicants to present government‑issued ID saved taxpayers nearly $200 million in June and is projected to save over $1 billion this cycle. The department criticized the Biden administration’s identity‑verification policies, noting that less than 1 % of students were required to verify their identity during the COVID‑19 pandemic. Vice President JD Vance recently announced that more than 870,000 borrowers tied to alleged COVID‑era fraud would be suspended from future federal loan programs.
Our take
Holy shit, the Department of Education has been running the world’s most generous no-questions-asked cash giveaway for imaginary fucking people. According to fraud investigator Mallory Wortman, scammers are using stolen identities or just inventing whole-ass “ghost students” with AI to enroll in college and slurp up the financial aid meant for actual human beings. It’s a crime so simple it’s embarrassing: you apply for free government money and nobody bothers to check if you exist. That’s not a loophole, that’s a policy of total bureaucratic negligence, like leaving the vault door open with a sign that says ‘Please Take Only One Pile.’
This monumental fuck-up only got a band-aid when someone finally had the brainwave to ask high-risk applicants for a government ID. That stunningly basic idea saved nearly $200 million in one month and might claw back over a billion this cycle. Let’s be clear: that ‘savings’ is just the money they stopped losing after years of pissing it directly into a grifter’s bucket. The department itself admits that during the pandemic, the Biden administration let less than 1% of students verify who they were. Less than one percent! They treated identity verification like an optional fucking garnish, not the entire lock on the door. It’s like hosting a party for ‘verified guests only’ and then letting anyone who whispers a name through the gate.
Now Vice President JD Vance swoops in to announce that over 870,000 borrowers tied to COVID-era fraud are suspended from future loans. Wow, what a heroic fucking action - shutting the spigot after the entire reservoir has been drained by phantom students and their very real bank accounts. This is the government equivalent of a homeowner finally changing the locks after the thieves have already furnished their new apartment with his TV, couch, and dog.
The entire system is a testament to cowardly, self-important pricks who think a billion in recovered losses is a victory, rather than a screaming indictment of their previous incompetence. They built a billion-dollar buffet for ghosts and are now patting themselves on the back for finally asking, ‘Hey, are you alive?’ It’s a disgrace built on pure, unadulterated laziness, and every taxpayer should be fucking furious.
