The facts
The Federal Trade Commission filed a complaint in the Middle District of Florida (Case No. 6:26‑cv‑2337, filed October 8 2026) alleging that Greenway Automotive and its Florida Kia and Hyundai dealerships systematically advertised vehicles at prices thousands of dollars below the amount actually charged, violating Section 5(a) of the FTC Act. The complaint details five price‑inflation tactics: dealer‑imposed fees, conditional rebates unavailable to most buyers, mandatory add‑on packages claimed to be non‑removable, inflated government fees, and outright price hikes with no explanation. Over 92 % of transactions were overcharged by an average of $3,350. The FTC also cites mailers that falsely claimed consumers had won $2,500 cash prizes; a consumer who called the number, was directed to a dealership, and was laughed at by a salesman who said Greenway runs the promotion in multiple states. After a March 11 2026 FTC warning letter, Greenway added website banners promising “ZERO HIDDEN FEES” and THE PRICE YOU SEE ADVERTISED IS THE REAL PRICE.
Our take
Greenway Automotive isn’t just a car dealer; it’s a fucking hostage‑taking operation masquerading as a showroom. The advertised price is a lie, the scratch‑off prize is a lie, and the post‑warning “ZERO HIDDEN FEES” banner is a lie so brazen it deserves its own Nobel Prize in bullshit. This is the business model of a grifting, thieving cunt: bait, switch, trap, and laugh. You see a cheap Kia online, walk in, and they slap you with a five‑finger price‑fuck: bogus fees, fake discounts, mandatory add‑ons they claim are welded to the car, inflated government charges, and plain‑vanilla price hikes. The result? Over 92 % of suckers pay an average of $3,350 more than the advertised lie. That’s not a margin of error; that’s systematic ass‑fucking. The real dickhead move is the kidnapping. Try to walk away? Fuck you. They keep the keys to your trade‑in, refuse to return your deposit, and stall paperwork until you capitulate. This isn’t sales; it’s armed robbery with your own car keys as the weapon. Then there’s the mail fraud, petty enough to be almost artistic. They sent out scratch‑offs promising $2,500 instant cash. The prizes were fake. One woman called, was told she won, drove to the dealership, and a salesman laughed at her, saying Greenway does this “all the time in different states.” That laugh is the sound of an entire company’s soul - a vacant, mocking prick who thinks your hope is a punchline. The FTC sent a warning letter in March. Greenway’s response? Keep the scam running and plaster louder lies on their website: THE PRICE YOU SEE ADVERTISED IS THE REAL PRICE and “ZERO HIDDEN FEES.” They looked the federal government in the eye and told a bigger, bolder lie. That takes a special kind of arrogant bastard, the kind who probably thinks a lawsuit is just another fee they can hide in the paperwork. So here’s the all‑in price, you thieving fucks: a federal lawsuit and the public’s knowledge that you’re a pack of fee‑inventing, key‑stealing, prize‑faking, laughing hyenas in cheap suits. Hope that scratch‑off was worth it.
