The facts
The Department of Justice has issued grand jury subpoenas to the office of Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner, according to sources briefed on the matter. These subpoenas are reportedly connected to allegations of obstruction of justice in the handling of cases before federal judges. The action follows a referral by U.S. District Judge Paul Diamond, who suggested that Krasner and his top deputy, Matthew Stiegler, may have made false statements, committed perjury, or obstructed justice in a murder conviction case. Judge Diamond disqualified Krasner and Stiegler from the case, alleging they attempted to pressure prosecutors and warned staff against alerting the court to internal conflicts. Krasner has stated he disagrees with the findings and intends to appeal. Neither Krasner nor Stiegler has been charged, and the DOJ declined to comment.
Our take
Look at this beautiful fucking mess. Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner, the self-styled saint of progressive prosecution, is now staring down a federal grand jury because he couldn't resist acting like a common, two-bit prick. The Department of Justice didn’t send a stern letter; they served subpoenas, which is the legal system’s way of saying, ‘We think you’re a lying cunt, and we’re going to prove it.’ This all sprouted from the fertile soil of Judge Paul Diamond’s referral, which basically accused Krasner and his deputy of being full of shit - specifically, the shit that constitutes perjury, false statements, and obstruction. The judge kicked them off a murder case for trying to strong-arm their own prosecutors and then threatening staff to keep their mouths shut. So much for transparent justice, you absolute fraud. Krasner’s big-brained defense? He ‘disagrees.’ He probably disagrees that the sky is blue if a judge says it. This clown built his entire brand on being the ethical outsider, the man who’d drain the swamp, and his first instinct when challenged was to mimic a mob boss, warning his crew not to rat to the courts. The hypocrisy is so thick you could spread it on a cracker. He got disqualified, which in lawyer-lingo means a federal judge found him so ethically rancid he couldn’t be trusted to be in the same room as a case file. Now the feds are poking around, and while no charges are filed yet, a grand jury subpoena isn’t a friendly invitation to brunch. It’s the prelude to possibly getting your ass handed to you in an indictment. Krasner says he’ll appeal, which translates to spending public money on a desperate campaign to convince someone he didn’t do the exact thing a federal judge said he did. Here’s a free tip, Larry: when you’re accused of obstruction for trying to gag your own team, the next move isn’t to appeal - it’s to shut the fuck up. But that would require humility, a quality this preening dickhead swaps out for sanctimony every morning. Enjoy the discovery process, where your own words come back to bite you on the ass. You’re not a reformer; you’re just another hack in a suit who got caught playing games with a murder trial. What a legacy, you monumental bastard.
