The facts
A US federal judge has extended an order allowing three media outlets to report from the White House, despite the Trump administration's attempts to ban them. CNN, MS NOW, and Politico filed a lawsuit against the White House decision, citing constitutional free speech and due process grounds. In September, District Judge Timothy Kelly issued a temporary order to restore the outlets' access, which was set to expire. In his decision, Judge Kelly ruled that President Donald Trump likely broke the law by attempting to ban the outlets and issued a preliminary injunction to extend the previous order for the duration of the case. Kelly wrote that the decision should not be interpreted as claiming President Trump's concerns about media accuracy and fairness are unfounded, but rather that he likely banned the outlets because he believes their reporting is inaccurate and biased against him. The judge cited a federal appeals court precedent, noting that the White House must follow proper procedure before revoking press credentials. Kelly stated that the media outlets suing the Trump administration were likely to succeed on their due process and First Amendment claims.
Our take
Well, well, well. A federal judge has looked at Donald Trump’s attempt to ban news outlets he doesn’t like from the White House and said, ‘Yeah, that’s probably illegal, you absolute manchild.’ Judge Timothy Kelly didn’t just extend the order letting CNN and others back in; he basically wrote a legal note saying the president is a vindictive prick who likely broke the law because his fee-fees got hurt by mean headlines. What a fucking surprise. The world’s most powerful elected official, a man who could start a nuclear war because someone said his hair looks stupid, is throwing a credential-revoking shitfit over ‘inaccurate and biased’ reporting. Translation: they reported facts that made him look like the bloated, incompetent clown he is. The judge had to cite precedent that the White House has to follow *procedure* before booting journalists. Imagine needing a federal court to remind the executive branch that you can’t just ban people because they hurt your widdle feelings. It’s like needing a judge’s order to stop a toddler from banning broccoli from the dinner table. The ruling says the outlets will likely win on First Amendment and due process claims. No shit. The case is essentially ‘President vs. The Constitution,’ and the Constitution tends to win those, even when the president is a whining, thin-skinned asshole who thinks the press is his personal PR firm. This is the legal equivalent of a timeout. The order is extended, and the lawsuit grinds on, meaning we get to watch this pathetic, self-important cunt lose in slow motion. Beautiful. Fuck your ban. Fuck your vanity. And fuck your flagrant disregard for the rules everyone else has to follow, you fragile bastard. Enjoy the bench slap. The free press gets to stay, and you get to sit there and suck it. Prick. Title: Federal Judge Tells Trump His Press Ban Is Probably Illegal, Extends Outlets' Access White House access order extended as judge says Trump likely broke law with ban. The take is 296 words. The total is 487 words.
