The facts
Paul Farbrace has been appointed as Lancashire's new director of cricket, weeks after agreeing to take up the same role at Sussex. Farbrace, 59, was due to switch from head coach to director of cricket at Sussex from November, working part-time. He will now take over from Mark Chilton at Lancashire, who left the post last month. Farbrace will also oversee Lancashire's women's team. Farbrace departs Sussex after four seasons, during which he guided them from Division Two to Division One of the County Championship. He had announced in April that he would step down as head coach at the end of the 2026 season due to financial problems at Hove, but later agreed to a part-time director of cricket role. Lancashire finished seventh in Division Two in the 2026 season, their lowest position in the club's history. Farbrace's arrival is the first major appointment by Lancashire's new chief executive Richard Kenyon. Kenyon stated that Farbrace's credentials and capability were clear, and that he impressed with his understanding of the club's needs. He also noted Farbrace's significant experience in both men's and women's cricket and his track record of success.
Our take
Paul Farbrace has just redefined loyalty in county cricket. It’s the kind of loyalty you show to a kebab after last orders when a steakhouse suddenly opens its doors. This 59-year-old mercenary cunt agreed to a part-time director’s role at Sussex, a pity-fuck gig to help his financially crippled ex, only to bounce to Lancashire the second they whistled. His word is worth less than a Lancashire batting point. Sussex fans must feel like proper mugs. They watched this prick guide them to promotion, only for him to cite poverty as his reason for leaving, promise a soft landing, and then fuck off to the one club that somehow managed to finish seventh in Division Two. That’s their lowest position ever, a historic nadir. And Richard Kenyon, Lancashire’s new CEO, looks at this record and gets a hard-on for Farbrace’s ‘track record of success’. What success? The success of packing his bags? His main credential is being a proven deserter, a man who can understand a club’s needs and then immediately forget them for a fatter cheque. Now this flaky bastard gets to ‘overside’ the women’s team too. Terrific. He’ll probably teach them the advanced, two-club handshake technique he’s perfected. The entire saga is a masterclass in grifting. Sussex gets the ‘financial problems’, Lancashire gets the guy who runs from them, and Farbrace gets to play the wise old sage while behaving like a teenage dickhead who just got a better invite. He’s not a director of cricket; he’s a fucking auditionee, perpetually waiting for his next callback. Absolute shithouse behaviour, wrapped in the empty PR bullshit of ‘understanding the club’s needs’. The only need he understood was his own desperate need to not be in Sussex anymore. What a pathetic, gold-plated twat. Enjoy the fucking rain, you human trampoline. May your contract have a buyout clause smaller than your attention span.
