The facts
Paramount has finalized its $81 billion takeover of Warner Bros. Discovery, a deal that creates a new entertainment behemoth named Skydance Corporation. The acquisition, led by billionaire David Ellison, was months in the making and faced competition from Netflix, as well as scrutiny from US regulators and politicians. The total cost of the takeover is approximately $81 billion, or nearly $111 billion when including the debts assumed by Warner Bros. This merger unites two of the oldest US filmmaking studios. Ellison, whose family has ties to former US President Donald Trump, stated, "Today is a historic day, not just for Skydance but for our entire industry." Skydance shares began trading on the New York Stock Exchange under the ticker SKYD, with Warner Bros. Discovery shareholders set to receive about $31 per share. The deal closed shortly after a federal judge approved a settlement between Paramount and 12 US states that had sued on antitrust grounds. The combined entity will also integrate news networks like CBS News and CNN, and television brands such as HBO and CBS. Ellison plans to merge the subscription streaming platforms Paramount+ and HBO Max. Ellison will serve as chairman and CEO of the new company, with former Mattel CEO Ynon Kreiz as co-CEO. Skydance Corp. anticipates a total revenue of around $70 billion and targets cost savings of approximately $6 billion within three years.
Our take
David Ellison just spent $81 billion - or a hilarious $111 billion if you count the debts - to create the world’s most expensive shit sandwich and name it Skydance Corporation. The prick’s historic day is just the day he got to be chairman and CEO of a company that now owns CNN, CBS News, HBO, and every other dusty media brand that didn’t run fast enough.
His big plan? To squeeze Paramount+ and HBO Max together like two half-empty tubes of toothpaste, hoping the resulting grey sludge will somehow make subscribers forget they’re paying for twelve different shows about cops. The fucker promises $6 billion in ‘cost savings’ from this $70 billion revenue monster. That’s not a business strategy, that’s a hit list. The ‘synergy’ is just counting how many journalists and writers you can fire before the next earnings call.
And who helped him beat Netflix to this rancid prize? A federal judge and twelve state attorneys general who sued on antitrust grounds and then folded like a cheap suit right before closing. Regulators looked at this media Voltron, shrugged, and said ‘fuck it, let the guy whose family hangs with Donald Trump control more news outlets.’ Antitrust enforcement in this country is now just a polite handshake before the billionaire feeds.
Ellison’s co-pilot is former Mattel CEO Ynon Kreiz, because when you’re merging century-old film studios, you obviously need the plastic-doll guy riding shotgun. Their new ticker, SKYD, will let Wall Street track in real time as this bloated corpse lumbers across the market, squeezing every last cent from properties that used to compete.
The only thing historic here is the sheer, unadulterated gall. Two of the oldest studios in America just got mulched into one vanity project for a trust-fund dickhead to play media emperor. He didn’t build a company; he bought a monopoly with daddy’s money and a judge’s rubber stamp. Now enjoy your merged streaming service, where ‘For You’ just means ‘For Him.’
