The facts
Train cancellations have been reported in Delhi ahead of a planned protest by the Cockroach Janta Party (CJP) on October 10. The capital has seen a heavy security presence, with police denying permission for the demonstration. CJP founder Abijeet Dipke, however, has vowed to proceed with the protest, stating that Jantar Mantar is a designated protest site and Article 19 guarantees the right to protest. Dipke accused authorities of election rigging and stated the protest is necessary to save the nation. The Delhi Police cited that the CJP's application was submitted on "very short notice" and that established guidelines require requests to be submitted 10 days prior. They also cited the CJP's alleged violation of rules during a previous protest as a reason for denial. Section 163 of India's criminal procedure law, barring assemblies or protests, is reportedly in force in the New Delhi area. Over 20,000 police and paramilitary personnel have been deployed. Indian Railways has canceled mail and express trains to New Delhi and Hazrat Nizamuddin stations, and Delhi police have proposed closing metro station gates and reducing train frequency. The CJP is calling for the resignation of Chief Election Commissioner Gyanesh Kumar over alleged irregularities in voter lists. The CJP has also accused authorities of mass detentions of its members nationwide.
Our take
The Cockroach Janta Party, a political movement so vital it shares a name with the insect you find dead in your takeout rice, has been told to fuck off by Delhi police. Their grand plan to swarm Jantar Mantar has been denied because, shockingly, you can’t just decide to have a national crisis on a Tuesday and expect the cops to roll out the red carpet for your bullshit.
Founder Abijeet Dipke, a man whose entire political platform appears to be ‘vague yelling,’ is vowing to proceed. He claims Article 19 guarantees his right to protest, which is technically true, but it doesn’t guarantee anyone’s right to give a single, greasy shit about what he’s protesting. His big issue? Election rigging. This is like a pigeon accusing the city council of rigging the breadcrumb distribution system. Nobody knows who you are, you absolute clown.
The police, for their part, cited ‘very short notice’ and the CJP’s history of violating rules at past events. In other words, the last time these dickheads protested, they probably left their principles and all their trash all over the street. Now the capital is deploying 20,000 personnel and canceling trains because a party named after a pest can’t file a form on time. It’s the most potent argument for digital literacy ever made.
Dipke says this protest is to ‘save the nation.’ From what? Competent administration? The concept of planning? His own desperate, crawling need for relevance? The only thing being rigged here is the game of ‘Spot The Serious Political Actor,’ and the CJP lost it the second they thought ‘Cockroach’ was a winning brand. They’ve even accused authorities of mass detentions of their members nationwide, which is what happens when your party’s recruitment strategy is cornering people at bus stops and yelling about voter lists.
So the metro might slow down, the trains are canceled, and a small army of cops will be standing around watching a guy named Abijeet and his six friends get told to move along. The nation sleeps soundly, saved once again from the tyranny of complete non-entities who can’t read a calendar.
