The facts
Brazil's presidential race will proceed to a second round after far-right candidate Flávio Bolsonaro garnered 47% of the vote, falling short of the outright majority needed to defeat incumbent Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, who received 45.1%. The final runoff is set for October 25. With 99.9% of votes counted, Bolsonaro secured 56.1 million votes compared to Lula's 53.8 million. Flávio Bolsonaro, son of former president Jair Bolsonaro, is expected to be the favorite in the runoff, potentially benefiting from votes cast for other right-wing candidates. The election also saw a strong showing for the far-right in other races, with Bolsonarista politicians winning congressional and gubernatorial positions. Jair Bolsonaro's wife, Michelle Bolsonaro, and his sons Carlos Bolsonaro and Jair Renan, were elected to the senate and lower house respectively. Tarcísio de Freitas, Bolsonaro's former infrastructure minister, was reelected as governor of São Paulo. Out of 54 senators elected, 34 were from the right or far-right. Flávio Bolsonaro declared the result indicated 'the end of an era' for Lula's Workers' party, while Lula acknowledged the outcome was 'unexpected' and a 'lesson in Brazilian democracy.' Lula plans to use the campaign to expose Bolsonaro's past and contrast their proposals for Brazil. The Guardian highlighted Lula's previous concerns about Bolsonaro's alleged links to organized crime figures. The election results reflect public frustration with the cost of living and urban violence.
Our take
Well, fuck. Brazil looked into the abyss of a Bolsonaro family reunion running the entire government and said, 'Let's think about this for another few weeks.' Flávio, the less-famous dickhead son, managed to not completely humiliate himself by getting 47% of the vote, which in his family's language probably translates to 'Daddy will finally notice me.' The little shit even had the gall to call it 'the end of an era' for Lula's party, which is like a toddler who just shit his pants announcing the end of the diaper industry. The era that's ending, you prick, is the one where your crime-adjacent father wasn't a global laughingstock. Now we get a runoff where the choice is between a leftist incumbent and a nepotism case who likely thinks infrastructure is something you build with your brother's senate connections. Speaking of which, the whole Bolsonaro clan is crawling into office like roaches when the lights come on. Wife Michelle? Senate. Brother Carlos? Lower house. Other brother Jair Renan? Also there. It’s less a political movement and more a family business specializing in graft and grievance. Lula, who called this a 'lesson in Brazilian democracy,' is being too fucking polite. The lesson is that a significant chunk of the electorate saw a family synonymous with corruption, deforestation, and COVID denial and said, 'Yes, more of that, please.' He plans to 'expose Bolsonaro's past' during the campaign, which is like trying to expose a sewer's 'past' of being full of shit. The only thing more polluted than the Amazon under these assholes is the political discourse. So buckle up, Brazil. You get four more weeks of this bullshit because the heir to the clown throne couldn't quite close the deal. Enjoy the smell.
