The facts
The Guardian reported that 11 employees of Australia's Future Fund were paid more than AUD 1 million in the last financial year, with one executive receiving a package worth AUD 1.5 million. This remuneration, which includes bonuses and allowances, is more than double the base salary of Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, which is AUD 622,000. The Future Fund oversees investments totaling AUD 350 billion. The figures were revealed after Greens senator Barbara Pocock questioned Public Service Minister Katy Gallagher about the high pay. Gallagher's office stated that the fund operates in a "highly competitive global market" and that the salaries are necessary to secure the best talent. The office also highlighted the fund's performance, noting a 14.8% return in the 12 months to June 2026, which added AUD 37.4 billion to the portfolio. Senator Pocock expressed concern about the value for money, particularly during a cost-of-living crisis, questioning the justification for such high salaries for public servants. The Future Fund declined to comment on the matter. This situation arises amid budget pressures and job cuts in other government departments, including the National Disability Insurance Agency.
Our take
Well, fuck me. In the middle of a cost-of-living crisis where regular cunts are choosing between power and food, Australia’s Future Fund has decided the real national emergency is making sure eleven of its desk jockeys earn more than the actual Prime Minister. One executive waltzed off with a cool AUD 1.5 million, which is more than double what Anthony Albanese gets for running the whole fucking country. That’s not a salary; that’s a ransom note delivered by a grifter in a very expensive suit.
The fund’s excuse, delivered via Public Service Minister Katy Gallagher’s office, is a masterpiece of bullshit. They operate in a "highly competitive global market" and need to pay top dollar for "top talent." Right. Because the only people who can possibly manage money are the ones who demand a seven-figure handout from the public purse before they’ll even consider showing up. What’s the interview process like? Prove you can breathe, and here’s a million dollars. Don’t spend it all on one superyacht, you talented prick.
They’re waving around a 14.8% return like it’s a get-out-of-jail-free card for being greedy bastards. The fund added AUD 37.4 billion to its portfolio. Great. Fantastic. And how much of that is going to help the people whose taxes fund this circus? Fucking none of it, because it’s all being funneled back into the bonus pool for the wizards who clicked the ‘buy’ button on some stocks. Meanwhile, other government departments are firing people and the National Disability Insurance Agency is getting gutted. Priorities, you absolute dickheads.
Greens senator Barbara Pocock had the audacity to ask if this represents value for money. The Future Fund’s response was to decline to comment, which is bureaucrat-speak for We know we’re being cunts, but we’ve got ours, so piss off. These aren’t public servants; they’re privateers looting the treasury with the government’s blessing. They’re not attracting talent; they’re attracting the most shameless greedheads on the planet, who see managing the nation’s wealth as a personal piggy bank. It’s a fucking disgrace, and every one of those eleven overpaid clowns should be named, shamed, and put on a fucking tram.
